The Catalyst
Well, I’m sitting here… typing… crying.
I just watched my Instagram story from January 23, 2019. The day I announced to the world that I am battling an incurable monster known as Multiple Sclerosis.
At that point, a majority of my followers were family, friends, high school acquaintances, coworkers, and randoms. Either way, a majority of them had no clue what Multiple Sclerosis even was. Heck, I barely knew what it was! In that moment, I was proud to use my platform, my story, my voice to shed my light on this mysterious disease.
The reason I’m now crying is because I saw myself in those videos scared outta my damn mind AND sharing anyway. I put myself out there not knowing where it would take me only two years later. With a growing support system of family, friends, strangers, and fellow multiple sclerosis and chronic illness warriors alike!
I’m crying, because I chose to do something completely outside of my comfort zone which only propelled me to the growing space that I’m currently in. I’m crying because in one of my videos I said these words (and this is where the waterworks truly started), “God doesn’t make mistakes.” I took this wild, unexpected diagnosis and decided to make the most out of it. Sharing my journey with you has seriously served me in ways I have trouble even articulating.
On that 2019 Instagram story, I spoke my current situation into existence- I talk about wanting to grow my platform to spread awareness and create a community amongst newly diagnosed, those who have been diagnosed for years, and those wanting to support a loved one with this disease alike. The fact that I’m here writing this now, shows me that I set intentions that day, when I shared my diagnosis with the world, and I am making those intentions a reality. And I think that’s pretty freaking cool! To be here growing that space with you is so surreal.
I have a vision of creating a space of support, of realism, of community and you all have been apart of that vision from day one without you even knowing it. Without myself even knowing it! I look back at that nervous girl, and I see a Warrior. A Warrior who was unsure of what the future held, but wanted to do her best in her current situation and that’s just what she did.
Now I reflect on what the last two years held for me and I realized that they were better than I could’ve ever imagined. This goes to show that we don’t know what the future holds and taking leaps of faith can be absolutely terrifying, but DO IT ANYWAY! God doesn’t make mistakes and if you are feeling pulled to share your voice, start that business, go for that degree- do it. Don’t worry about the ifs, ands, or buts just take that leap. Who knows, maybe one day you' too will look back and realize that everything was falling into place even though it seemed to be falling apart.
All my love,
Ashleigh Rose